why must everything be about race?

[Jill Monroe]

This morning, I was listening to a radio station (105.9 Jamz- Russ Parr in the morning) and he read off an email from a male listener who was complaining about an episode of some show (i forget the name)...on the show, a white gay male (who was affluent) adopted a young black male child. so the listener went on to complain about the fact that the adopter was both white and gay and "how could he possibly raise this child"..blah blah blah.

now i realize this show is tailored to the black audience but being that he is syndicated nationwide...im sure its not unreasonable to assume i am not the ONLY white person who has listened to his show.




Russ Parr (being the loud mouth, blow hard, instigator that he is) went on to ask the question: "do you have a problem with gays...white gays adopting black children". several listeners called in and i noticed that the black males were the ones with the really negative comments and many of them must have gritted their teeth to keep from saying what they REALLY wanted to say about whites and gays adopting black children.Some of them even went so far as to imply the "white gay male" would TEACH THE CHILD TO BE GAY!

the whole idea of a white person (not to mention gay) adopting a black child was being treated as though it was some kind of blasphemy! pardon me for thinking that the MOST IMPORTANT goal in adoption is to make sure the child (no matter what color) is placed in a safe, warm, loving family(no matter what color) that will raise him/her up the best way possible. What DO YOU ALL THINK?


MY other question to everyone is: why is it ALWAYS a black/white issue? no matter WHAT the situation if it becomes clear that its an interracial couple, a white parent/black child (vice versa) or any situation...it always becomes a topic of race/racism. and then i wonder....and YES i am going to ask this....for the members on this board who are black, do you feel that you or those that you know tend to have a dim view of white people simply because of "past history"? or some other reason? there's a whole lot of things here that can be discussed...so lets begin! :)

[MorningStar]

I agree wholeheartedly with you, Farrah. I don't understand why race OR sexual orientation (as in the case you mentioned above) should make a difference as to how good a life a child can have. What is skin colour, exactly? Absolutely nothing. Racism is one of my pet peeves, REGARDLESS of what it's related to (abusing someone on the street OR bringing up a child), and my friends know better than to utter a racist word around me, because I won't put up with it. Frankly I think racism is primitive and animalistic, a tool for the ignorant to rashly justify violence and mindless prejudice.

But, just my opinion :D

[FtpIt]

In this country, whenever there is a Black person and White person involved in any kind of relationship...it usually leads to a racial issue. Why are you dating outside of your race?...You think your too good for your people?...They will never understand us and we will never understand them...You think they are better than us?...We are losing our Black men to White women?...and it goes on and on. I do not have a problem with a gay/non-gay White person raising a Black child because if you can provide a loving home and a loving heart then that child will always love you for that and not because of your color. Society drives so much of how we think about other races that it almost brainwashes people to see other races the way it wants them to be seen. Some of the media, music, movies, and TV shows just breeds this kind of prejudice behavior that people have for other races. I think the "past history" is an escape goat sometimes for some Black people who use that as evidence to how all White people are and a reason to hold grudges against them. The past is the past and it's fine to learn about it and pass it on to others but you don't have to hold a whole race of people hostage to bad things that happened in the past. You can't go back and change things but you can make things better in the present and future for many generations to come. ;)

[ZorCrow]

I think Race is such a big issue with us black people, because we are often being treated like niggers. I am serious . . . I am a black law enforcement officer and I work with white folks who won't even speak to me, or give me the nastiest look. When I go to the federal court house I have to have my badge and creds out when I hit the door or they wanna frisk me down because I look like a "negro thug." To most white folks I talk to they don't even believe racism exists . . .

Also, I am not for homosexuality period, and I don't think gays should adopt kids.
I think kids need to be in a heterosexual environment period. I know this view isn't popular with folks on this board, but I got to be honest with ya'll because I respect ya'll.

[Jacob Black]

I think you have to look at it from both points of the Spectrum though ZorCrow.

You hate that you are treating differently for being who you are, and people treat you like a .. well you know.. Homosexual people go through that all the time too. If a man is too feminine he will get made fun of and condemned as well as too butch of a woman. Most people AUTOMATICALLY assume they are homosexual and write them off completely. They are restricted from doing certain things simply because they are different which is the SAME struggle that Black People went through so long ago. I mean I think that you should support Homosexual People because what if this was the 1950's and you were madly in love with a white woman and couldn't get married simply because you were black and she was white? Is that fair at all? No... I just feel it is the same thing..

AND there is NO studies that say two gay parents will raise a Gay Child. It has no credibility whatsoever. If that person was single and raising a kid it wouldn't be a problem, but since it is two men, it is BLASPHEMY or whatever, when the real issue is that it SHOULD be Blasphemy to abandon your child and then deny people their god given rights...

[Oblivion]

I think Race is such a big issue with us black people, because we are often being treated like niggers.

On the contrary, I think that Race is such a big issue with not only black people, but with EVERYONE - for the same reason Religion, Sexual oreintation, etc is such a big issue with people around the world. People fear what they don't know. It's true theres usually a negative outlook on Black people in general, but from what I've seen Black people aren't the only people being treated badly because of their race. I was raised in a rather mixed community, we had blacks, whites, mexicans, lationo's etc. living in our apartment complex, and although the majority of the community was black - no one really treated each other differrently, unless you did something to put yourself in a position to be looked at in a negative way. Now, I realize not everywhere in the world is as open-minded as that, seeing since I've come to my current residence; where I've lived for the past 5/6 years, there has been a lot of predjudice that I've been exposed to.

For example, even though some people look at Black people as "Thugs" and all that, I've heard several asian people being discriminated against in my highschool, people telling them to "Go back to their own country" and other racial comments such as that. Along with Lationo's, Mexican's, and even whites. I think that just because some people are raised in communities that are dominated by there own race (This is just my opinion, I don't want to be making a standardization here), that they don't have a widely educated view of how other races, or other PEOPLE live. And therefore resort to sterotypes and standardizations, simply because they don't know any better.

Now that's just my opinion, I could be just be very naive and have no clue what's going on, but from what I've seen, and experianced first-hand, that's what I believe. Until more people grow up, and around other people of different races - I really don't think racisim is going to cease. People just have to realize that people, are PEOPLE. Whether your black, white, yellow, red, or all the colors of the rainbow- we're all human beings, and no one's going to stop being themselves just because a few close minded people don't agree with them, and what they were made to be.

And on the issue of Homosexuals raising, or adopting children - I really don't have a problem with it. And I agree with Brandon, people are so upset when their looked at in a certain way because of there race, they have to realize that Homosexual's are JUST as upset when there looked at in a certain way because of there Sexual preferance. As long as the person (Whether they be gay, straight, or bisexual) can provide a loving, caring enviroment for a child to grow up in - then I'm all for it. But once again, thats all my opinion - if I offended anyone or sounded mean in anyway, then I'm sorry; just trying to express my opinion ^_^''

[Caroline Forbes]

Well all I can say is that there are some things that aren't about race that some people feel the need to make about race for no reason. Or I think sometimes as a reason to be mad at someone else. There is a guy that is a friend of a friend who makes unwanted, rude and inappropriate advances towards me every time we are in the same location, despite repeated protests by myself. And after telling him that I wouldn't go home with him (someone I've not had a single conversation with other than to tell him to stop grabbing my butt) he starts yelling at me and calling me a racist. Which is uncalled for and really was upsetting to me.

Long story short - not everything is about race. Sometimes, girls just don't want to go home with a guy who's a jerk lol

[ZorCrow]

Well all I can say is that there are some things that aren't about race that some people feel the need to make about race for no reason. Or I think sometimes as a reason to be mad at someone else. There is a guy that is a friend of a friend who makes unwanted, rude and inappropriate advances towards me every time we are in the same location, despite repeated protests by myself. And after telling him that I wouldn't go home with him (someone I've not had a single conversation with other than to tell him to stop grabbing my butt) he starts yelling at me and calling me a racist. Which is uncalled for and really was upsetting to me.

Long story short - not everything is about race. Sometimes, girls just don't want to go home with a guy who's a jerk lol

That guy is a pig no matter what race he is!! file Sexual Harassment charges or something against that jerk, heck all the cops and get him arrested he will leave you alone then, if it's not your body and you don't have permission don't touch it!!! I hate men who ate like pigs!!!

Vilandra knee him in the goody sack he will leave you alone then!! :p

[Caroline Forbes]

lol thank you :D I actually pushed him away (after warning him that if he didn't keep his hands off me he's lose them) and hit him (like girly hit him, nothing serious...though next time...) and he told my friend I grabbed him by the throat. Which considering I was sitting and am 5'2 and he was standing and is pretty tall, is physically impossible.

lol

[Koralk]

ZorCrow - I gotta tell ya, I was one of those people who didn't know racism and bigotry still existed until very recently. I thought it was a term we learned in history class. I mean, seriously, who in this day and age could possibly hate another person just because they're black/asian/gay/disabled/etc...

It seems so archaic. I still can't grasp how someone could feel that way, but I at least now know that it is still a "common" phenomenon. My point is, don't be too quick to jump on a person's case just because they don't realize that racism exists - in fact, its kind of a good thing. It means that people are "forgetting" what racism is, and its not something that is going to be continued on to future generations. Thats not to say we shouldn't learn about and acknowledge racism, just that we shouldn't view racism's "lack of publicity" as a completely negative thing.


Now, on topic... I think its ridiculous that anyone thinks a white man shouldn't raise a black child, or that a gay man shouldn't raise a child in general, or that a black man can't raise a white child, etc etc etc... Hell, if you ask me, we need MORE of that kind of thing. We need to prove to people that good people are good people, and a strong family is a strong family. It doesn't matter if the mom is asian, the dad is latino, and the kids are black and white. Its still a family.

So... yeah... thats my soapbox shpeel from a nobody on the boards. Thanks.

[ZorCrow]

I actually have hard time admitting I find white women attractive. It's so stereotypica of black guys to like "white guhrlz" but I do find white women attractive like I do women of all races. It's the individual that I am attracted to race has nothing to do with it. It's hard to admit though, when I did admit this folks called me a sellout and captain save a whtiey, and all kinds of stuff. But I don't care what those clowns think, white women are beautiful, like black women, latin women and asian women, arabic, indian, native american, polynesian, etc. . .

[Caroline Forbes]

The thing is - you aren't going to find every single person on the planet attractive. So just because you don't find one white person attractive, it doesn't make you a racist. And the same goes for the other races - people have likes and dislikes and that's just how it is.

[Timeless Beautie]

I think that race is too much of an issue. I go to a school where a majority of the population is minority. 1st in line is hispanic.... we have a large hispanic population.... then black.. then asian.... and then about 10% is white. We don't have that many white people and I'm one of them. But because I've grown up in such a diverse region I've learned to become extremely tolerant. From everything to culture to religion to sexual orintation. I've met racist people some white and some black. I really don't like to hang around those people because I hate watching people be mean to others for reasons beyond their control. And that includes sexual orintation. We see racism all over the TV and in movies. People read too much into appearance and differences. I'm not saying being different is bad; I praise uniqueness, but hating someone for being different from themselves is wrong. I'm a pretty unique person and I get teased for being weird or crazy or the way I dress. It's just beyond me how people can't look beyond their own selfish reasons and really get to know me. So I don't let it bother me....

Also I really think gay people should be able to adopt children. I have friend who's mother was a lesbian most of her life and she didn't come out traumatized. In fact she one of the smartest, friendliest, and wonderful people I know.

[Osiris]

As long as there are black inferiority and white superiority complexes dominating minds in America this situation will probably be the same and continue to fester. The main reason is America as a whole has not fully gotten over slavery. Instead it was swept under a rug as it is today and America suffers from amnesia as it relates to her injustices. The only true way to deal with a problem, ie race, is to deal with the very origin of the problem, and sadly as a nation we are not ready to do that.

First, we would have to apologize, then we would have to look into the effects of that long and brutal practice. But, when you start talking like that, its gets dangerous, because then you have to start thinking of reconciliation and reparation.

Which brings us to the reason why black people have a problem with white people raising black children. We shouldnt, because obviously there arent enough black parents adopting, but we do, probably due to the principles behind that which I have already mentioned. In the minds of most black people the idea alone brings up so many emotions, and not to mention the fact that the guy is homosexual. As a community, blacks tend to be very hostile towards gays anyway, so its like mixing two acids.....

Its going to be hard for anybody in a majority position to see the views of those in the minority position equally, unless the roles were ever reversed. Thats another reason why some whites act as if racism doesnt exist today. Its hard to acknowledge something that isnt common to your culture.

Personally, I don't care either way, children need good parents, however, I believe our community already has so many issues do to the fact that we don't possess knowledge of ourselves, and Im very cautious and concerned about what type of knowledge could a white person teach a black person about being black. I mean I could study Chinese culture, history, and speak the language, but can I as a black American teach a Chinese person how to be Chinese better that a fellow Chinese person?

I don't mean to offend, but only through the passing of knowledge can we expect to get understanding.